Jace's headstone came in last week and they got it set in the ground. We went by Sunday to see if it was there and it was. It looks absolutely beautiful. I find myself wondering what I was expecting from this little bit of closure. I sure don't feel any better about anything. But, this part of me is just so glad to have his name and picture there where we said goodbye to the little body we took care of so fervently. I don't know if those red curls and those big blue eyes will greet me in heaven or if he will look totally different and I will only recognize him by his irreplaceable little spirit. I miss that little face and that beautiful hair. I'm sure he will look the same but completely different all at the same time. It was perfect timing that the headstone came in when it did. I didn't want to do Thanksgiving and Christmas with an unmarked grave. I went out there today and took some pictures. I put one where I hadn't decorated it so you could see how beautiful it looked without the glare on it. Then I put one with the flowers I put out and the Christmas tree that his sister helped me decorate.
At church on Sunday, we sang "How Beautiful the Blood." We sang that song at Jace's funeral and since then it has taken on a whole new meaning for me. I am so indebted to my precious Jesus. It takes my breath away to think about how much he loves me, that He spilled his beautiful blood, that I might be reunited with my precious baby boy when this life is over. If it weren't for my Jesus, I would never see that precious treasure again. Thankful doesn't even begin to cover how I feel about Jesus. I am walking with Him through this terribly hard journey and knowing that He has never forsaken me. I am not alone and the best part is, I am FREE to have a deep, intimate relationship with my creator. All because of Jesus Christ! Thank you Jesus for the amazing way you love me and my family.
We are gearing up for Thanksgiving this week. Pray for us, we miss him so badly. Pray that we will let God heal our hearts through this holiday and that he will be able to accomplish His purpose this week. Pray for peace and strength as we do this first Thanksgiving without him. We are thankful for all of our wonderful friends that love and support us through this really hard time!! We love you all!