Monday, October 13, 2008

So Sorry!! I went to the doctor on Thursday but I haven't gotten on to write because I've been so tired. I guess that is all part of the first trimester stuff! Everything went great at the doctor. The baby's heart rate was 168! I'm sure that doesn't mean anything but who knows! We are definitely getting more and more excited. We miss Jace so much right now. I do agree with some of my friends that have lost their babies, that it sure doesn't seem to get easier. I'm sure you just get used to feeling kind of lost and not sure what to do some days. I know when the baby comes, I'll be pretty busy and I know that will be of some comfort. It is just so strange to be living every day without the little boy that I carried inside for me and took care of all the time. It has been hard this week to be around our friends and family that Jace was supposed to grow up with. Its been bittersweet I guess to watch their boys play and laugh and dance!! It makes me sad, but it makes me happy that he is doing that too. I only wish I could watch him!! I have loved getting to hold the boys and Max, my nephew, is a very good little snuggler. It does sort of help heal a little part of that. And its so strange how it can almost make me feel bad that I'm getting to hold them and not my sweet little boy. But I know that is just a part of the whole process. I know Rock is a little concerned about me because I'm feeling a lot more sad. But I know that its because we are starting all of our holiday festivities and I HATE that we are doing it without him. I know there is nothing we can do, but I just wish this time of the year just wasn't coming right now. Please just pray for us because it sure is getting hard to go into the holidays and know that just the three of us are celebrating together this year. This picture is what I keep remembering. Its a happy memory, but all of those are now tinged with sadness. I hope it makes you guys smile. This was one year ago on October 31st! We love you guys!


  1. SOOOO sorry for your loss, I can't even imagine how hard that must be!! You and your family are in our thoughts and prayers@@

  2. Lydia,
    I try to get on your blog every once in a while and get updated on what's going on with you guys...My heart hurts so bad for you! I am so sorry!!! Know that you are in the hearts and prayers of the Jarvis family!! We love you! We are so excited about baby number 3 too! What a lucky little baby to join such a special family!
    Bob, Laura, Jack and Sammy

  3. Lydi, just know that I love you and want so badly to take away at least some of your sadness. You are right, it is a process that you must walk, each step leads to healing. I agree, I don't think you ever get 'over' having a baby leave this earth. I think you learn to walk in a new way, it's just painful to get there. Love you tons and praying for a healthy little one... I'm here if you ever need to talk. I'm never to busy or 'tired' of hearing about sweet Jace...


  4. Oh Lydia, I think of you so very often, I have pictures of Jace up in Brooke's room and I look at him almost every day and pray for your family. I can't imagine what it will be like going through the holidays, when a part of you is gone, but he will celebrate with Jesus on His birthday!! Yay!! I'm so excited for you guys on #3 and I love and MISS you terribly,

    nichole b.

  5. I love that picture of Jace. He was the cutest little hotdog ever! We miss him so much! We thank Jesus for preparing the way ahead as you continue this journey. He will provide your portion each step of the way. We love you guys and had so much fun spending time with you this weekend!