So Sorry!! I went to the doctor on Thursday but I haven't gotten on to write because I've been so tired. I guess that is all part of the first trimester stuff! Everything went great at the doctor. The baby's heart rate was 168! I'm sure that doesn't mean anything but who knows! We are definitely getting more and more excited. We miss Jace so much right now. I do agree with some of my friends that have lost their babies, that it sure doesn't seem to get easier. I'm sure you just get used to feeling kind of lost and not sure what to do some days. I know when the baby comes, I'll be pretty busy and I know that will be of some comfort. It is just so strange to be living every day without the little boy that I carried inside for me and took care of all the time. It has been hard this week to be around our friends and family that Jace was supposed to grow up with. Its been bittersweet I guess to watch their boys play and laugh and dance!! It makes me sad, but it makes me happy that he is doing that too. I only wish I could watch him!! I have loved getting to hold the boys and Max, my nephew, is a very good little snuggler. It does sort of help heal a little part of that. And its so strange how it can almost make me feel bad that I'm getting to hold them and not my sweet little boy. But I know that is just a part of the whole process. I know Rock is a little concerned about me because I'm feeling a lot more sad. But I know that its because we are starting all of our holiday festivities and I HATE that we are doing it without him. I know there is nothing we can do, but I just wish this time of the year just wasn't coming right now. Please just pray for us because it sure is getting hard to go into the holidays and know that just the three of us are celebrating together this year. This picture is what I keep remembering. Its a happy memory, but all of those are now tinged with sadness. I hope it makes you guys smile. This was one year ago on October 31st! We love you guys!

Lydi