Monday, January 26, 2009

Third Trimester Exhaustion

Ok.  I have forgotten how tired you get again at the end of your pregnancy. I am worn out again! We have been working on the house and getting everything in its place. I am so glad that we pushed so hard and got everything done with the house. It is so nice and homey and really peaceful here. We are having some trouble with Court sleeping now that she is without her passies for security, but she's doing okay considering that she has had those things since she was born! It is so strange to try and settle in here without our sweet Jace Richard. We miss him more every day. Today was pretty weird and slightly reminiscent of last December. It was hard for both of us to deal with all those memories again today. I think its good for us to remember that it has only been almost six months since he went to be with Jesus and that we are just gonna miss him. My best friend and I had a conversation the other day, though about moving forward and knowing that we are always going to miss Jace but knowing that we are not honoring him any less by enjoying our family and our lives right now. That if anything, we are honoring him more by looking forward to the future with hope and faith that we will be happy again. I believe with all my heart that I will never be the same and  that forever I will dream of what it would have been like to see him at every stage. The pain never completely goes away, I am convinced of that. But Molly reminded me that I want my sweet baby Jett to feel that he is just as precious to us as his big brother is and that we are so thankful to have him and excited for him to come. Its so hard, but I am continuing  to learn how to jump of the edge with Jesus and live in the middle of his love for me. I am learning how to live believing that he loves me in every circumstance in my life and knowing that he still loves me, even when I don't understand. Thank you all, My precious friends, for praying for us and lifting us up. This is a hard journey to be on and it continues to be so challenging, but oh to know God the way that I have come to know him!! To grow with him the way that I am learning to do right now! He has never let go of us! 


  1. I've been thinking about you all a lot today - being iced in and all. It's made me think about last year's ice storm and just wanted to let you all know we love you are are thinking about you. :)

  2. Lydia, you are so strong. I hope that I can develop faith and understanding like you! I truely look up to you! You are such a wonderful child of God and absolutely wonderful mother! I know that God is going to bless you for your faith! Although you will always miss Jace and remember him forever, God is going to bring your heart to peace!